Lobola

History has shown that lobola (a dowry paid for a bride) has a very special meaning for two people who want to start a family.

 It is a bond that unites the two families of the bride and the groom. It symbolises an appreciation or thanks-giving to the woman's parents for raising a beautiful woman. In days gone by, all a man needed to get himself a wife were a few head of cattle. Lobola is not only a cultural phenomenon but it is also mentioned in the Christian bible.

The book of Genesis chapter 29, talks about a man called Jacob who worked seven years for his father-in-law to show his love for Rachel. All this however has changed and not for the better. It has been revised, modernised and commercialised. Cash, and loads of it, is demanded and economic factors such as rising inflation erodes the romances of many couples who intend to tie the knot.

 As a result many couples choose to live together and have children out of wedlock as they can not afford the hefty lobola demanded by some brides’ families. I spoke to few men who voiced their different viewpoints about lobola. Alfred Mabote, a husband and a father of three believes that most families see lobola as an easy way of solving their financial problems. “It took me 14 years to marry Sarah with whom I had two children. I worked hard to save money but, I could not afford lobola since we already had children that I had to support. I loved Sarah and always wanted to marry her. Lobola is important, but the way some parents overcharge us, holds us back. It was only after 11 years that I was able to pay what was needed as lobola and we were married three years later,” he said. Mandla, a young man in his mid-thirties, from Johannesburg said that some parents have turned lobola into a money-making scheme. “I think that lobola is more about making money than uniting two families. The cost of living is way too high and how can one plan for the wedding if parents want to rip men off? The same man still needs to provide for his family,” he said. Moses Honwana, 36, from Johannesburg understands why the payment of lobola is different from how it work in the past. “The fact that we live in urban townships makes it difficult to own cows which is the reason why we have to use cash instead. Paying lobola shows that the man will be able to care for and provide for his future bride. Again, one can negotiate to pay lobola in instalments and some families allow the couple to be married even before the lobola is settled,” he said. Eric (40's)said that it is important for men to pay lobola to show appreciation to the bride’s parents. “Lobola is a must for men to pay because parents work hard to raise their children. In some cases men are required to pay according to what they have. Lobola can not be an excuse for men not to marry. However a man needs to work hard and pay lobola. It is not a price tag for a wife,” he said. What do you have to say about ilobola?